Its the fuel for your anger flame,
The wicked smile I've it to blame.
My brain tells me to run away,
My heart in pity intends to stay.
My love can't compete with your drunken nights,
My fearful heart shivers in memory of those fights.
Condemnation clouds every face with a frown,
And I can tell they wish we'd leave town.
Their whispers confirm my fears,
As you drown you sorrows in each beer.
My life is this dead end street,
A battle with a foe I never will defeat.
You smile at women as they pass,
And yet I rarely get a glance.
I find them in my bed at night,
And leave the house to avoid the fight.
Another bruise, broken jaw or blackened eye,
I promise myself I'll say goodbye.
No more pain or judgment in their sight,
One day I'll tell you your last goodnight.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Rainy Memories 03/31/09
Today I remembered,
What I forgot about you.
It's the last time,
You'll play this trick on me.
I may not be a singer,
But I tried to sing for you.
I may not be a model,
But I dressed up for you.
My thoughts echo the words,
The words you used to say goodbye.
Our song doesn't say your name,
Yet it softly fills my ears.
I cry in the rain,
So no one sees the tears.
When it rains it pours,
I look forward to the rain.
What I forgot about you.
It's the last time,
You'll play this trick on me.
I may not be a singer,
But I tried to sing for you.
I may not be a model,
But I dressed up for you.
My thoughts echo the words,
The words you used to say goodbye.
Our song doesn't say your name,
Yet it softly fills my ears.
I cry in the rain,
So no one sees the tears.
When it rains it pours,
I look forward to the rain.
Rainy Day 03/25/09
Somehow I didn't lose my love for you,
It flowed down the side of the road,
Like water on a rainy day,
Taking all the leaves swiftly to the drain.
The leaves of sorrow wash away,
Right beside of the leaves of affection,
They float on by me spinning lazy circles,
In the water that was our love.
I turn my face up in the rain,
It hits my face in its slow drops,
I hope it washes away,
Every memory of you.
What could have been,
Is so far away now.
A distant ray of sunshine
In this torrential rain.
It flowed down the side of the road,
Like water on a rainy day,
Taking all the leaves swiftly to the drain.
The leaves of sorrow wash away,
Right beside of the leaves of affection,
They float on by me spinning lazy circles,
In the water that was our love.
I turn my face up in the rain,
It hits my face in its slow drops,
I hope it washes away,
Every memory of you.
What could have been,
Is so far away now.
A distant ray of sunshine
In this torrential rain.
03/25/09
A needle in the heart,
It's not a knife,
But it is easily a start.
The pain starts to grow,
And covers all areas of life,
Steadily, yet still slow.
Another needle stabs the heart,
Making hope light the fire,
That kills yet another part.
The heart shrinks in size each day,
As people pass it by they wave,
And the pain they cause remains.
What first sounds innocent may turn around,
Driving home the last nail that seals the coffin,
A mere hour before they lower the heart into the ground.
It's not a knife,
But it is easily a start.
The pain starts to grow,
And covers all areas of life,
Steadily, yet still slow.
Another needle stabs the heart,
Making hope light the fire,
That kills yet another part.
The heart shrinks in size each day,
As people pass it by they wave,
And the pain they cause remains.
What first sounds innocent may turn around,
Driving home the last nail that seals the coffin,
A mere hour before they lower the heart into the ground.
03/20/09
Say goodnight to what you were,
Tomorrow is a new day,
With much to offer someone like you.
Don't hold back with the fears from yesterday,
They haunt you, but have no control, Necessary
Until you allow them that power.
Your mind should be made up,
Not to hold back,
The loves of the past are just that.
Yesterday I have forgotten,
Though the lessons I learned,
Are tomorrow's promise.
Tomorrow is a new day,
With much to offer someone like you.
Don't hold back with the fears from yesterday,
They haunt you, but have no control, Necessary
Until you allow them that power.
Your mind should be made up,
Not to hold back,
The loves of the past are just that.
Yesterday I have forgotten,
Though the lessons I learned,
Are tomorrow's promise.
Spell 03/18/09
Like water over my brain,
You spread, covering every inch,
Taking over my every thought.
You possessed my mind,
Yet were oblivious,
To the danger that you had caused.
My entire life has stopped,
And now I only think of you,
For some reason nothing else matters.
Is it a spell that you put on me?
What do you have to gain,
The world is yours, or so it seems.
A record plays in the background,
It is not you singing,
Yet it is your voice I hear.
My brain is haunted,
Will you protect me from it,
Or should I hide in fear?
My fears are unfounded,
Why would you hurt me,
When I belong to you?
You spread, covering every inch,
Taking over my every thought.
You possessed my mind,
Yet were oblivious,
To the danger that you had caused.
My entire life has stopped,
And now I only think of you,
For some reason nothing else matters.
Is it a spell that you put on me?
What do you have to gain,
The world is yours, or so it seems.
A record plays in the background,
It is not you singing,
Yet it is your voice I hear.
My brain is haunted,
Will you protect me from it,
Or should I hide in fear?
My fears are unfounded,
Why would you hurt me,
When I belong to you?
Attempting To Braid Daisies 03/15/09
If I could play an instrument,
Every song would be of you.
Your voice would be the tone behind my notes,
Your love behind each of the words I wrote.
This simple set of phrases should not reach your eyes,
But in the chance that it does,
Know that I hear your voice at every sound,
And that your face is in every cloud.
Mesmerized by your laugh,
You aren't my type,
I didn't expect to fall for you,
But these things happen.
I tried to sort you out,
But you're one of those mysteries.
You care more than most,
Easily making you a rare find.
They call it learning to love again,
But I believe we're born with that.
I just needed you to remind me,
How to love again.
Every song would be of you.
Your voice would be the tone behind my notes,
Your love behind each of the words I wrote.
This simple set of phrases should not reach your eyes,
But in the chance that it does,
Know that I hear your voice at every sound,
And that your face is in every cloud.
Mesmerized by your laugh,
You aren't my type,
I didn't expect to fall for you,
But these things happen.
I tried to sort you out,
But you're one of those mysteries.
You care more than most,
Easily making you a rare find.
They call it learning to love again,
But I believe we're born with that.
I just needed you to remind me,
How to love again.
Identity Crisis 03/13/09
Do you even remember who you are?
You have changed so much and yet so little.
You look like trash and treat your friends as such for what?
The pleasure of seeing their pain?
You're sick and you make me feel that way.
You care so little, yet "create" so much.
I can't help but wonder what you see in your reflection.
So dim. It probably hurts your eyes.
I hope I never see something like you in mine.
It'd kill. You're dead. Inside.
You're harsh, you're fake, you're mean.
You can't read this though.
Readers are feelers and feelers have to open their hearts.
Do you have one?
I have my doubts.
You have changed so much and yet so little.
You look like trash and treat your friends as such for what?
The pleasure of seeing their pain?
You're sick and you make me feel that way.
You care so little, yet "create" so much.
I can't help but wonder what you see in your reflection.
So dim. It probably hurts your eyes.
I hope I never see something like you in mine.
It'd kill. You're dead. Inside.
You're harsh, you're fake, you're mean.
You can't read this though.
Readers are feelers and feelers have to open their hearts.
Do you have one?
I have my doubts.
Legacy 02/25/09
Genuine fear of being forgotten,
That is the fear of the old.
They think back on the things they've done,
And see things that they want others to know.
My fears are at ease,
I've yet to grow gray.
The worries that weaken them,
Are yet to be fears to me.
What am I remembered for?
I let my thoughts stray,
The way I treated others,
Would that be my legacy?
A legacy of love,
For family, for friends.
Of comforting others,
Holding their hearts in my hands.
That is the fear of the old.
They think back on the things they've done,
And see things that they want others to know.
My fears are at ease,
I've yet to grow gray.
The worries that weaken them,
Are yet to be fears to me.
What am I remembered for?
I let my thoughts stray,
The way I treated others,
Would that be my legacy?
A legacy of love,
For family, for friends.
Of comforting others,
Holding their hearts in my hands.
Oh Call It Crap 02/20/09
If I never hear your voice again,
I'll close my eyes and count to ten,
Cause babe one day we'll all hear voices,
So I open my eyes. Eleven.
Twelve releases my breath,
For thirteen makes me dizzy
Thinking of yesterday, the fourteenth,
On Valentine's Day, you left me.
Still fifteen songs left to delete,
You left so much on my life,
Its sixteen minutes until one a.m.
You're long asleep, yet I never am.
I tried so many times to say your name,
But aloud my tone is harsh.
I remember your tone,
And yet I count past ten again.
I'll close my eyes and count to ten,
Cause babe one day we'll all hear voices,
So I open my eyes. Eleven.
Twelve releases my breath,
For thirteen makes me dizzy
Thinking of yesterday, the fourteenth,
On Valentine's Day, you left me.
Still fifteen songs left to delete,
You left so much on my life,
Its sixteen minutes until one a.m.
You're long asleep, yet I never am.
I tried so many times to say your name,
But aloud my tone is harsh.
I remember your tone,
And yet I count past ten again.
One Eleven AM 02/11/09
Lying facedown on my bed.
I scream your name, it hurts my head.
I see the moonlight in your eyes,
As your smile lights up night skies.
I fell and stumbled as I walked,
As my mind jumped thought to thought.
All these days I think of you,
And cannot help but wish you knew.
I scream your name, it hurts my head.
I see the moonlight in your eyes,
As your smile lights up night skies.
I fell and stumbled as I walked,
As my mind jumped thought to thought.
All these days I think of you,
And cannot help but wish you knew.
The Beach 02/10/09
You broke my heart in your hand,
And let the pieces fall into the sand.
And in the sand they blended in,
Then caught to blow away upon the wind.
I walk down the beach in your path,
Wondering why we did not last.
The birds cry and sing in the air,
Echoing my lost hope and despair.
My heart throbs in its pain,
As the thunder announces the rain.
I walk faster to quicken my pace,
As the raindrops hit my face.
As I try to make my retreat,
The gentle waves lap at my feet.
Causing the sorrow to melt away,
As the beach begged me to stay.
I kicked some wet sand into the air,
And ran my fingers through my hair.
The rain felt good in the warmth of the sun,
So I stayed on the beach until a new day had begun.
And let the pieces fall into the sand.
And in the sand they blended in,
Then caught to blow away upon the wind.
I walk down the beach in your path,
Wondering why we did not last.
The birds cry and sing in the air,
Echoing my lost hope and despair.
My heart throbs in its pain,
As the thunder announces the rain.
I walk faster to quicken my pace,
As the raindrops hit my face.
As I try to make my retreat,
The gentle waves lap at my feet.
Causing the sorrow to melt away,
As the beach begged me to stay.
I kicked some wet sand into the air,
And ran my fingers through my hair.
The rain felt good in the warmth of the sun,
So I stayed on the beach until a new day had begun.
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