The Language of Horses

The Language of Horses

The language of horses consists of 34 words for feeding,
which depends upon the horse’s diet.
Some eating oats, sweet feed, or pellets,
and possibly getting helpful supplements and minerals
such as salt, joint supplements, yeast, and muscle builders,
while others are on a strict diet of grass,
though in the winter all should get hay.
The language of horses has 94 different words for their humans,
depending on whether they are describing their human
before or after a workout that zaps them of all energy.
During the workout they call humans what humans would call
their high school gym teacher during an intense class.
Cruel, heartless, heavy-when their human is riding-, and evil.
After a workout and right before feed time they excitedly
think of their humans as caregivers, motherly, helpful
but slow at bringing them their feed pan of supper.

The language of horses has 21 words that are used in reference to other horses,
many for each relationship, depending on the quality of that relationship.
Best friend, worst enemy, Goddess of the Herd, Witch of the water trough.
King that rules the hay bale, Selfish mare hog, and puny pony who gets in the way.
The language of horses has 43 words for demonstrating how they feel about
their friends and enemies, including the common words like kicking,
biting, nuzzling, and licking. In fly control there are three words that describe
the fly removal process: swatting, waiting, and praying.
Swatting at your friends flies with your tail, waiting on your friend
to rub her face against your belly to move the flies,
and praying for the magic water from the sky that makes the flies disappear.

The language of horses has 58 words for things that horses do not like,
including veterinarians, farriers, horse trailers, dewormers, and shots.
Veterinarians are killers with needles that bring intense pain,
farriers are annoying men who use funny tools in order to shorten the feet
horse trailers are dark caverns of mystery that scary things hide in and wait on the
travelling horses that trust their owners too much. Dewormers are a thick paste
considered green and slimy goo that must be spit out and not swallowed,
despite the human’s obvious intent to force the horse to swallow.
Shots are needles that are attached to the veterinarians that are killers,
and are often associated with far worse medical treatments.

The language of horses is a language of flight, for horses would rather
run than stay and fight with something that causes fear.
Running comes natural to the horse and is known by several different words,
galloping, cantering, trotting, pacing, and racking.
The language of horses comes in several different voices,
the friendly nicker, the angry squeal, the enthusiastic neigh,
each with its own distinct sound, the voice unique to each equine.

The language of horses is accentuated by physical cues and signals
given to other horses in warning. Ears laid back translates into “I’d
really like you to disappear” while barring the teeth describes a more violent desire.
The language of horses is the sound of hooves on the hard winter ground,
the warm breath of a horse on a chilly fall day.
It is the wet nose being rubbed on the back of a clean shirt,
it is the big brown eyes that show pure affection.